So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
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