ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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