the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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