so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
