she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize