I'm going to rape someone's good day.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
