porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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