do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize