she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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