Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i out mim tonsoeep
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
