My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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