I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize