i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
