Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
