You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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