Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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