Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
There r osticjed everywhere
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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