apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize