Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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