weddingsv make me drug and hornr
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
