playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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