Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
