Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize