I must be too annoying 4 u.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
