where does the pee come out of this thing
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
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I booty called her while she was in labor.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
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I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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