You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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