did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
