i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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