if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
