So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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