this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
