My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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