I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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