I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
