Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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