I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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