can we get nightvision for the apartment?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
