I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
