Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
false alarm, still single
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