i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
How does one acquire holy water?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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