i just google imaged poop.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
