can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize