just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
