I can't watch pbs sober anymore
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
