Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
