Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
