I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
