No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
