if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
