drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize