Do you still have your period?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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