he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
