ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
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No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
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I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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