i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
