Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
