All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
she smelled like a LAN party
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
