just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
