chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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