Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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